xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
