he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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