I faked an abortion last night.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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