Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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