Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
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