Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
