It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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