My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
