her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
