im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
