just tell him i said nine months
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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