Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i dont even know how to be here
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
