I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
