If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
