Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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