we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Drunk is not a location!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
