By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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