so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
