mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just forgot I was standing up.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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