i barfeds in our rink
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
