This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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