Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
