You can't motorboat a personality
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize