u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
