Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
