508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
