my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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