Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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