white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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