it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
