Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
