your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
