Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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