So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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