he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
