I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
