The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
