Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
