She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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