Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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