Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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