Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
