I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
