Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
