Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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