i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
