Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
