Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
