On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
