I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
