I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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