i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
