I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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