clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
