I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
