dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
