I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
